A young Muslim girl whom I know from school, has made multiple attempts to speak and converse with me, even during the month of Ramadan. Now, I know that we both have feelings for each other, which is why I’m here asking for advice. What makes me indecisive as to how to deal with her is how she acts when trying to interact with me. The girl clearly doesn’t have enough self control, and I don’t want people around us getting the wrong idea. However I also don’t want this girl to feel I’m uninterested while I give her less attention in certain situations. I try my hardest to speak with nothing but taqwa and patience, hoping that things can work out. I don’t date, I don’t mess around, and up until recently I haven’t even thought about it. I want some input as to how I should deal with her. Please and thank you.
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brother. I’m not a scholar, but Allah clearly says in the Qur’an: ‘Do not go near zina’ (Surah Al-Isra, 17:32). He didn’t just say ‘don’t do it’ — He said don’t even go near it. That tells you how serious it is.
From what you’ve described — both of you having feelings for each other — let’s be real: 9 out of 10 times, this leads to zina. That’s the sad reality. Shaytaan doesn’t come with a full plan at once. He takes you step by step until you fall.
So, if you’re really serious about her, don’t waste time — get married and do it the halal way. If that’s not realistic right now, then you need to step back, drop her and get real. It’s not the end of the world. You’ll meet dozens, even hundreds of women in your life who could be your future halal partner. But right now, you have to put your deen first.
Start pulling away. Limit communication. Ignore her if you have to. Focus on yourself, your goals, and your connection with Allah. He promises in the Qur’an that whoever leaves something haram for His sake, He will replace it with something better. That’s not a maybe — that’s a promise.
And to be honest, these ‘love stories’ without marriage… they’re just corny distractions. We weren’t made for emotional fantasy — we were made to lead, to build, to protect our akhirah. Stay strong, stay focused
Allah is always watching over us, and He is the best Helper. No matter how strong emotions may be, it’s crucial to remember that our ultimate goal is Jannah, not just temporary happiness in this world.
1. Allah is Watching & Ready to Help
Allah reminds us:
> “He knows the stealthy glances of the eyes and what the hearts conceal.”
(Surah Ghafir 40:19)
Even if no one else sees our intentions, Allah knows what’s in our hearts. If your connection is sincere, it should be built on taqwa, not fleeting emotions.
Allah also reassures us that when we seek His guidance, He will provide:
> “And whoever fears Allah—He will make for him a way out, and provide for him from where he does not expect.”
(Surah At-Talaq 65:2-3)
So keep making dua for clarity, patience, and the best outcome. Ask Allah to bring you together in a halal way if it’s good for both of you, or to separate you if it’s not.
2. Think About the Hereafter, Not Just This Life
Love and attraction are natural, but a relationship should be based on more than emotions. If you truly care about each other, ask yourselves:
Are we bringing each other closer to Allah or away from Him?
Are we thinking about Jannah, or just our desires in this dunya?
The Prophet ﷺ said:
> “A woman is married for four reasons: her wealth, her status, her beauty, and her religion. Marry the one who is religious, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).”
(Bukhari & Muslim)
A relationship built on taqwa will last in both worlds, while one based only on feelings may not even last in this one.
3. Talk to Your Parents
The best step is to involve your parents. They know you, love you, and want the best for you. Even if they initially deny or reject the idea, respect their decision because:
> “It may be that you dislike something while it is good for you, and it may be that you love something while it is bad for you. Allah knows, while you do not know.”
(Surah Al-Baqarah 2:216)
If your parents disagree after you’ve explained everything, trust that Allah has something better for you. Walking away may feel painful, but it will be better for your heart, your deen, and your future.
Final Reminder
Keep making dua—Allah’s plan is always the best.
If you truly care for her, help her focus on deen and marriage, not temporary attachment.
If she’s not ready for a serious step, it’s better to step back and protect your iman.
Trust Allah—if it’s meant to be, it will happen in the right way.
May Allah guide you both to what is best for your faith and future.
Salam! I’d say the best response to your situation is to let her know she’s going too far, you can confess your attraction to her but remind both yourself and her of Allah’s commands, don’t let either of you lead astray as feeling stuck into things like this can generate thoughts and excuses pushing you further from the person you thought you were. It might not be the nicest thing to do but the most beneficial thing to do is be blunt and keep her at arms length until you both can make things halal.
Brother be strong for indeed God is with the righteous audhu billAH SHAITAN RAJIM.STAY POSITIVE UNKNOW WHATS RIGHT KEEP DISTANCE SPEAK TO JER IN POLITE say truth .thats waswas