There was a huge earthquake in the morning where I live. I remember another earthquake happened, perhaps last year and I was afraid for my life. I was afraid of facing The Almighty. I realized I wasn’t ready to die yet. But this time, even after the earthquake I felt impartial. I don’t think I’d be in a better place if I were to die right now. I’ve been neglecting my prayers and haven’t been my best self. Yet, I keep thinking “ the world should just end right now, whatever it is that I feel, it’d just disappear in a second”.

I wouldn’t say I’m a depressed person, because honestly I don’t think there’s anything in my life that I should be depressed for. But I can never shake off the feeling regarding wanting the world to end. and i don’t know how to feel about this.

Honestly, I’m scared that I feel this way. I’m scared that I don’t find death scary anymore. Because the reason I made it this far is because I was always afraid of facing The Almighty. Afraid of the eternal hell. But now I feel stuck. I am aware of the consequences of disobedience, yet I can’t seem to move forward. I only keep thinking “The world should end so I can just disappear.”