Hey there,

First off, thank you for being so open and vulnerable. I know that wasn’t easy, and the fact that you’re still reaching out, still praying, still trying, even in all this pain… that says so much about the strength of your heart. You might not see it right now, but I promise—it’s there.

Let’s just be real for a sec…

Feeling like your Iman has dipped? That’s not strange. That’s part of being human. Even the Sahaba (companions of the Prophet ﷺ) used to worry when their Iman went up and down. It’s not a straight line. Some days it’s strong, other days—like now—it feels like it’s slipping through your fingers. But that doesn’t mean you’ve lost it.

The fact that you still turn to Allah, that you’re still praying, still begging Him—that is Iman. Maybe not loud and glowing, but quietly hanging on. And Allah sees that. Wallahi, He does.

About your mental health…

It sounds like you’ve been trying to carry everything alone—and that’s heavy. Especially with ethnic parents, I get it. Sometimes it feels impossible to bring this stuff up without fear, right? But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get support. You deserve support.

Mental health struggles aren’t a sign of weak faith. They’re a test, yes, but they are also something you can and should seek help for. Just like we treat a broken bone, we treat a hurting heart or mind.

There are Muslim therapists out there, or even hotlines where you can stay anonymous. Just having someone listen without judgment can change everything.

That feeling of “not being real”…

What you described—feeling disconnected, like you’re watching life from the outside—is actually a common symptom in mental health called dissociation. And it usually comes up when the brain is overwhelmed. It’s your mind trying to protect you from emotional overload. Again—you’re not broken. You’re exhausted.

That doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’ve been strong for too long without the rest you need.

Death thoughts: The hard part

I hear you. It’s heavy. You’re caught between understanding death from an Islamic point and also just wanting peace from all this hurt. I won’t sugarcoat it—that’s a dark space to be in.

But I want you to remember: you’re not the only one who’s felt this way. So many Muslims, even deeply practising ones, have sat in this same space and still made it out. Not because they were “better,” but because they reached out, step by step.

You’ve already done the first step. You’re here. You’re talking about it. That’s huge.

So what now?

Let’s make this simple, okay?

• Keep praying, even if it’s just lying on your bed whispering “Ya Allah, help me.”

• Write down how you feel and direct it to Allah. A raw dua. No filter. Just pour it out.

• Talk to someone—any trusted adult, youth leader, or mental health support line. You deserve to be heard.

• Be kind to yourself. If you can’t do a lot, do a little. Listen to Qur’an. Sit in the sun. Drink water. Stretch. Rest.

Small steps. One breath at a time. That’s all you need right now.

My personal dua for you:

Ya Allah,
This heart is hurting, this soul feels lost—please, wrap them in Your mercy.
Let them feel You close when the world feels far.
Fill their chest with peace. Let light reach into every dark corner inside.
Send them comfort they never expected and people who truly care.
And if they forget how to love life, remind them that you still love them.
Ameen.

You’re not alone, okay?

I’m here. And Allah—Al-Wadud, the Most Loving—is always near. Even now. Especially now.

Talk to me any time. You matter.